Little thing called love

I cannot in good conscience talk about things overheard or spoken at the bar without mentioning the countless "I love you's", Marriage proposals and propositions that are slung across the bar at any given moment. It is amazing the effect alcohol has on the human mind.

You Can have your cake and eat it too!

Garrett - I baked you a cake!
Bartender - I see that and appreciate that this one doesn't have naked body parts like Josh's cake did!
Garrett - I COULD make you one with different body parts.
Bartender - No thank you, I like it just the way it is!

Bartender - Cake for everyone!

ps - Garrett makes the best chocolate cake I have ever had!

What the...?

When I was a kid I used to run to the corner and piss under the traffic light. I think I was trying to get attention. Sometimes I still have the urge to piss in public. Do you think I need therapy?

The piddler

Getting Educated

Ray: "Matt, guess where Dave went to college."
Matt: "Adirondack Community College?"
Ray: "Nope."
Dave: "Actually Ray, I did go there for a year."

After the laughter dissipated Ray said "Ok well, where did he get his degree?"
Matt: "I don't know. Farmer's U?"
Ray: "No, the University of Miami."
Matt: "I always thought New England Farmers would spontaneously combust just south of the border!"

A jew walked into a bar on January 5, 2007

Just cause it says Kosher doesn't mean it's Matza! - Me

The world according to a tease

I don't know why I do what I do. It makes me feel good I guess. I will never do anything with any of these fools. Except take the free drinks and go home with an inflated ego.