Bryan says good bye

I saw the glares from your daughter. I just want you to know you are my favorite.

Daughter knows best

Becks - Mom, I love you but you know little about life.

Mom - I know lots about life. I choose the denial approach.

Becks - Sometimes you need to forget that optimism you are famous for and open your eyes!

Mom - No really I don't.

Becks - That is why I love you so much.

Mom - I love you too.

Baseball Season is upon us

Bob - So where is your money?

Bartender - Right here honey!

Bob - you know I am gonna win this year?

Bartender - Bob, last year you paid a months rent for me. I am counting on the same to happen this year.

Bob - Yeah but i did win ten bucks off you last year.

Bartender - See you on April 20th! When the Yankees and the Sox play their first series!

Rip this joint

Special Ed - I stole my brother's stereo and when I set it up I just hit play on the cd player. Made me think of you immediately. It was Exile on Main Street. I never realized what great music the Stones put out.

B - If you liked that one I think I have 20 more albums you will love!

Special Ed - I will trade you Stones for a Janis Joplin box set!

B - Deal!

Geography lesson from Ralph

Just a lil' South of Sanity

There is an art to drunk dialing

Special Ed - Ok I am going to give you this but you have to promise not to turn it on until after 7am.

B - I don't think I can turn anything on within the next 24 hours!

Special Ed - Seriously. NO DRUNK DIALING!

B - I have lost my voice so we will have to go with drunk Texting!

Special Ed - That's fine I know it will take you a while to type anything decipherable!

B - Hey! I am a good drunk texter!

Special Ed - Oh I have no doubt! By the way what is a "texter"?

Happy Hour

B - I will take my tab.

Bartender - Here ya go.

B - Damn I am a cheap date!

Bartender - But I would never tell!

Zoning issues

Bartender - NO! NO! NO! Off the bar!

Intoxicated Girl - What?

Bartender - Not out of the bar just OFF the bar!

Intoxicated Girl - I can't dance on the bar?

Bartender - No, but you can dance BY the bar.

Intoxicated Girl - Why don't you have a stripper pole?

Bartender - Because we try to discourage stripping.

Customer - That's why I didn't think I liked this bar! Been trying to figure it out all night. Hey honey, I have a stripper pole at my house.

Rules of Drunk Dialing

B - Is it midnight yet?

Special Ed - Uh it's 11:30. Why?

B - I feel some drunk dialing coming on.

Rahual - Give me her phone now! Last time she was in here like this I got in trouble for not stopping her from drunk dialing!

B - I am sober enough to drunk dial responsibly!

Special Ed - (in a whisper - which in drunk world isn't a whisper at all) I turned her phone off and put it behind the bar three hours ago. Her kids know where she is and that is all she was worried about.

B - Where is my phone?

A little seriousness in the midst of mayhem!

B - Are you happy with him?

V - Yes.

B - Then nothing else matters

V - Are you happy alone?

B - Yes.

V - Then you are wise beyond OUR years.

Thank God it's Baseball Season

Customer #1 - Who are you going with in the women's final?

Customer #2 - Rutgers. Pat Summit is a bitch and really makes me dislike women's baskteball. And ya gotta love the underdog!

Customer #1 - What's the bet cause I will take Tennessee.

Customer #2 - Well you already owe me 2 prime rib dinners and I owe you a night of drinks from last years baseball season so let's go for dessert!

Customer #1 - Deal!

Gotta love technology

The faint sound of "Hey Hey We're the monkees" is playing in the background.

B - I hate when people have cell phones going off constantly at the bar!

Vicki - Um idiot, that is your phone! You left it on Chris's table

Special Ed - This is the exact reason I will not get a cell phone. I don't need help making me look like an ass!

Cribbage is not a drinking game

E - So this is how you play cribbage?

V - Isn't it a great game?

B - As long as I am winning it is the Best!

Special Ed knows best

Special Ed - So "Tight Pants Dave" had gossip

B - And?

Special Ed - He said he heard on the scanner that someone got a dui and asked to call someone named Kim and Joe and I know that can only be one of two people. Who do you think?

(Said in stereo) by B and Special Ed - Bubba!

B - I am so glad I am outta the Tight Pants Dave loop!

Special Ed is willing to bet

Special Ed - I say the Yankees go 182 - 0! Who wants to take the bet?

B - I will take that bet! How much $200? Like last year?

Special Ed - You call yourself a Yankees fan?

B - I know they are bound to lose one or two!

B - And exactly how are you going to pay me back?

Special Ed - Not in ladies lingerie like you paid me a couple years ago when we bet on one game.

B - Chicken!